A private blog for my w-rants, writes and arts.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Flashback stories with X.

Recently I started a series on Twitter, #flashbackwithx; to tell stories on events, accidents, and escapades I had as a kid growing up. I have however decided to keep the blog updated on the twitter story telling saga. However, the stories will be told live on twitter on Thursdays, with repeats on the blog on Fridays. To keep up on twitter, you may follow me via @theprincelyx.

Here's the most recent story. Enjoy.

Fela sang many years ago, that 'trouble sleep, yanga go wake am... Wetin e dey find? Wahala e dey find... Wahala e go get ohohohoh...' that was my situation 3 months ago. Let's say I am trouble. My partner in crime is Yanga. He came to wake me & together we went to find wàhálà. It was the day after eid(Ramadan) celebrations. Nigga told me that we should go swimming. In my head, I started calculating all my swimming experience into minutes and it was less than 30. I mean the times that I actually did swim and went underwater, not the times I was chasing inflated balls with no shame. I said, 'let's go.' You see, water is not like earth. Or even outer space. In water, the currents be like transformer own. If you know how to channel it, you'll enjoy electricity supply. If you do the transformer anyhow, my brother, if you no die, na small go remain.

A spirit was telling me that morning Princely don't go. For a while I listened. Then I told my nigga, Baba I broke. Yanga said, just come to pool, I'll pay
Baba I don't have money, he replied, okay I'll come to your house. Before I was done sighing, Yanga was at my door already. We were soon on our way. If there was a name for our  duo, it would be suicide squad. We got to the pool and waited for a third friend. While waiting, I observed that the pool was filled with children who were just entering teen ages. In my head I was saying, 'These children will die today.' lol, the irony. Our friend came & it was time to swim. We changed and I asked yanga, which part is the shallow part... In low voice of course. He laughed and pointed. I told yanga let's go and swim. In my head what I really said was... Let's go and show these kids who run the turf!

We got to the edge of the pool. Yanga was looking scared. I didn't know it was the fear on my face that reflecting on his. He was standing. He said let's dive together. Because I wanted to go Olympian and go for gold, I squatted at the edge of the pool. Like an athlete waiting to hear the 'go' whistle. Yanga thought my own position was too professional so he took a step back. He wanted to watch me flip. I told yanga, when I go in, follow me, he nodded his head like an apprentice. Me, Sensei Fawx. Master of life. In a moment that can only be defined as 'life-&-death' I flipped like a ten times Olympic gold medalist at swimming.

"I’m not afraid of death; it’s dying that scares me.
That last moment before life is finally gone. The moment when your
life rolls in your belly like a cascade of indigestion problem, but
instead of excreta forcing its way downwards to your bowel, it wants
to come up through your mouth." — Culled from Broken Arrows.

Oh yes did I flip! It was powerful. With a robust size doughnut and one can of maltina in my stomach, I, my stomach, my CGPA-that was sinking already and the little dreams I have, we all went underwater.
Because everyone saw me dive, everyone thought I was a pro. Yanga told me much later that people started worrying when I started kicking, but he told them it was a skill jhor, & added, didn't you see him dive?

Underwater, I was dying. I am 5ft11" tall. The part where I dived into was 8ft. I was looking for the floor of the pool to bounce out... I couldn't reach it. I was looking for outside to go... I couldn't go. I started asking myself, isn't this how they do it in movies? Just dive and swim? Why is this happening to me? Is it because I stole kisses two years ago? Is it my big nose that's dragging my body down? I kept pondering. The longer I spent underwater, the lesser I was living. I continued kicking. Searching for God. God was in one corner telling me, shebi you're forming agnostic ni, ehn stick to this one na. Tbh fam, I almost cried. My eyes were turning white. I couldn't see anything. I was losing everything. No strength.

So I just laid there and stopped kicking. I just told myself, if I'm dying, I'm not going to die drinking water from this pool. I didn't open my mouth to shout or anything. I just stood there. Just when I thought democracy wasn't for me, I saw APC. Someone had dived in to save me. I felt someone's leg and grabbed it. But just like APC, it failed. He slipped away, maybe to London, and I was back where I was. Then God just looked at me and pitied me. Next time, when they ask you what's your religion, you'll say you worship me. nonsense & Agnosticism.

Then the pool's lifeguard, brother Moses, listened to God's call and came into the sea. He parted the water and safely guided my almost dead body out.
On coming out... I realized that I was lost. I left through Seme border but on coming out, I was in Zaria. But e no matter. I sha no die.
Those children I was saying their father? Most of them were in the shallow part of the pool playing with ball. Yanga asked if I would still swim... I said. Yes. I'll enter water & join my mates.
Neymar has been playing ball since, look at him. Lemme play ball too myfren.
Some twenty minutes later... I was back at the deep part again....

Did you enjoy it? Do you have recommendations? Please do not be afraid to use the comment box. Thank you. To read other stories in the #flashbackwithx series, just go on twitter and search for #flashbackwithx. Have a nice day, everyday. ☺

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